...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
