remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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