your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
