so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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