this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
try to milk me bitch
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize