She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
