I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
