I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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