i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
