God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
