remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
