your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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