The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
