I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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