About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
