I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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