i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
