i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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