I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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