addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I feel like abortions should bother me more
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
do herpes really smell.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
