I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
