Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
