Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
