her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize