Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
