Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if only i could text you this smell
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
