you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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