they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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