I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize