Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
