Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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