You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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