tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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