Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize