Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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