You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize