cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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