Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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