that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
