i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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