There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
