My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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