And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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