I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
