Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
