You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
