I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
