I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i need some magic done to my vagina
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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