i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
