Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so much tequila, so little girl.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
