Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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