Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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