But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
