hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
