If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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