billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
