I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
