dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
