I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
