I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
