I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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