4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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