I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
