He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I love having hate sex.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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