..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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