you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
