I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
