Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize