we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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